PRE-PRISON REFLECTIONS

by Fr. Bill Bichsel, S.J.
(from the Micah newsletter)

There is an underlying anxiety in me because I am having a difficult time in preparing for the sentencing that is scheduled in June.  When I sit down to write my thoughts on our case, there is a block.  There is tension in me between my commitments to people and work to be done and my preparation for our sentencing.

I know that Jesus said, "...when they hand you over, do not worry before hand about what to say; no, say what ever is given to you when the time comes, because it will not be you speaking; it will be the Holy Spirit." Mark 13:11-12.  I want these words to permeate me and be my guide.  But my tension is still there.  I am praying and waiting to be in touch with that pool of peace within me.  It is beside this pool that I can hear, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.  When the turbulent waters of anxiety arise, I want that voice to still those waters.  I want no part of anxiety.  Nor do I want any part of fear which breeds anxiety.

I don't have fear of going to jail, even though I don't look forward to spending a long time there and prefer not to be there.  However, I will do it as a continued witness to our action.

Fear is what the multinational-government-military-powers behind the SOA are about - especially if their sovereignty is challenged or threatened.  The harsh sentences of January 21 and March 2, 1998, are designed to spread fear among people of conscience who take a stand against the SOA.  These powers fear what happened on November 16, 1997 and they want to stop it.  They fear a movement of people who have uncovered the Security State's agenda of massacre and who, by their witness, are encouraging others to join the resistance.

The courtroom is the place to which our action brings us.  From our earliest years, we have learned that it was in the courtroom that justice happens.  Yet, how often in this courtroom have the violence and greed of the prevailing powers been protected.  Once again, it is to this courtroom we go.  The judge will decide whether a law protecting the sign from our message is more important than the law which says, "You shall not kill."

I am conscious of how the courtroom scene in the trial of Jesus was the focus of the struggle between The Power of Truth and The Power of Empire.  We share in the heritage of that ongoing struggle.  By the grace of God, we will speak truth to power even if it means long prison terms.

In the radical following of Jesus, it is because the disciple speaks the truth, that thedisciple will not be spared.  Jesus told his disciples that John the Baptist spoke the truth and was beheaded.  So Jesus tells his followers to take up the cross and follow.  Take upon yourself the worst that the powers can give or threaten you - the instrument of execution - and in that you will find freedom.  And in this paradox of taking the worst that the government can give us, we will find not only freedom but joy.

Whatever way the sentencing goes our faithfulness to our truth will be the song that will be heard.  It is the song of freedom and joy which reaches hearts and breaks down barriers of fear and brings people together in the force of truth.

[Bill Bichsel, SJ, is awaiting sentencing for altering the Ft. Benning, Georgia, sign to reflect the truth about the School of the Americas located there.]

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last updated July 10 1998